where theres despair...let there be hope!!!

As i sat there waving my white flag surrendering to my boobs, something happened, a sudden surge of optimism rushed through my bod, I was reminded of a conversation I had awhile back at Windsor Dairy. I was chatting with the dairy owner about homemade formula, she spoke great things of it but suggested I give breast feeding all I had because making the formula was a great task. I had definitely given it all I had and was now supplemeting Lanodn with at least 4 oz of Similac a day, I was interested in learning more but, was I defeated before I even began?




I jumped up and jumped onto the Weston A Price website http://www.westonpriceaprice.org/ in hopes to find some direction and some answers. Under childrens health I found the homemade formula recepi which had originated from a cookbook called Nourishing Traditions. another thing I found was the name of a nutrtionist, Jen Albritton, who writes regular articles for the Weston Price Organazition.



My first email to Jen...



Hi Jen, I get my raw milk from Windsor Dairy, I believe Meg, the owner of the dairy had given me your number. Are you familiar with who Im talking about? I believe she said you run a Weston Chapter in Denver. I had lost your phone number, but today while reading your article on the Weston Website, I had thought I recognized your name. So maybe before I start firing off the questions I should make sure Im in contact with the right person. And on the other hand maybe you are not the person I am thinking but you may still be able to answer some of the questions. Thanks for the informative article on baby food, I have a four month old, so our journey of "real food" is in the starting gate!!!







And finally I had considered trying the homemade formula, is there a good source locally to get the ingredients or would you recommend ordering them from the website listed? On the same note, is there anyway the formula can be stored for longer than 24 hours? I had hoped I could make some for a friend but wouldn't be able to get it to her fresh every day.







Jen was so quick to get back to me and so cheerful and excited for me! Her enthusiasm came through giving me inspiration and motivation!!!







I starting weighing different options on where to get the ingredients, there was a link on the Weston Price page for Radiant Life, here they actually sell the a formula ingredient kit, for $150, its seemed a bit high and I have to admit I felt I was taking the easy way out by doing it that way. Jen had been able to get most of her ingredients locally and because we are trying to make changes in our household to stay commited to local products and ingredients I wanted to do the same.


I didnt want to wait three weeks after our trip to Chicago so I decided to try and find the ingredients while on vacation...


I went with Jens advice to order teh Gelatin online and the cod liver oil from a company called Green pastures. I decided to order and have th eingredients sent to my Moms, the rest I felt i would be abl eto find here locally.

I have to admit I love to journal its my hobby and I've been doing it since I was a little girl , i just had no idea that at 30 years old I would be journaling online about my boobs.



Breasts, are sensual, are life giving, and mine currently belong to my 5 month old baby boy...that's were this story begins...





I need to backtrack about 4 months when I first suspected I wasn't making enough milk in my right breast.. I called my lactation consultant who was an angel but when she showed up with this 5oo pound breast pump to try and stimulate more milk from that side I began to worry. She decided to leave it with me for two weeks, it was big bulky and worth $2000.00 so I must not let anything happen to it, or Else...The day my 5 year old just about knocked it to the tile floor I decided to call my LC and tell her I was ready to surrender the breast pumpin beast...







I was nursing just about every hour, some days I felt like one big boob, nipples were sore, and I was exhausted. Occasionally I would try and pump if Landon hadn't nursed in awhile so I would have a little extra in case I needed a break. I became consumed with it, if it had been two or more hours since he nursed I would feel obligated to try and pump. One night at midnight, I was sitting on the bed hunched over my "free" manual breast pump I got from the hospital. Pushing pulling pushing pulling , aching back watching drip...drip...drip...falling into the empty bottle, barely at an ounce. I had my aha moment....this is just Ridiculous. I'm tired and sore....







nursing my first son went beautifully and I felt so great about nourishing him everyday with the best stuff out there. It was free, easy, in other words .."liquid gold' was pouring from my chest. I was totally %100 percent sure I didn't want it any other way for my second. I was confident going in to it and shuddered at the thought of feeding my second anything other than







So that night when I set the pump down and I sobbed more tears that milk I had put into the bottle. I knew I needed help.