I have to admit I love to journal its my hobby and I've been doing it since I was a little girl , i just had no idea that at 30 years old I would be journaling online about my boobs.



Breasts, are sensual, are life giving, and mine currently belong to my 5 month old baby boy...that's were this story begins...





I need to backtrack about 4 months when I first suspected I wasn't making enough milk in my right breast.. I called my lactation consultant who was an angel but when she showed up with this 5oo pound breast pump to try and stimulate more milk from that side I began to worry. She decided to leave it with me for two weeks, it was big bulky and worth $2000.00 so I must not let anything happen to it, or Else...The day my 5 year old just about knocked it to the tile floor I decided to call my LC and tell her I was ready to surrender the breast pumpin beast...







I was nursing just about every hour, some days I felt like one big boob, nipples were sore, and I was exhausted. Occasionally I would try and pump if Landon hadn't nursed in awhile so I would have a little extra in case I needed a break. I became consumed with it, if it had been two or more hours since he nursed I would feel obligated to try and pump. One night at midnight, I was sitting on the bed hunched over my "free" manual breast pump I got from the hospital. Pushing pulling pushing pulling , aching back watching drip...drip...drip...falling into the empty bottle, barely at an ounce. I had my aha moment....this is just Ridiculous. I'm tired and sore....







nursing my first son went beautifully and I felt so great about nourishing him everyday with the best stuff out there. It was free, easy, in other words .."liquid gold' was pouring from my chest. I was totally %100 percent sure I didn't want it any other way for my second. I was confident going in to it and shuddered at the thought of feeding my second anything other than







So that night when I set the pump down and I sobbed more tears that milk I had put into the bottle. I knew I needed help.